Give Yourself Some Credit! Love Yourself (you deserve it!)
While there is nothing wrong with seeking external validation (e.g. compliments, buying “nice” things, sympathy, confirmation of thoughts, etc.), it is important to give yourself that same love and affection through internal validation. Start giving yourself the same validation you seek from others and build your self-confidence. The definitions below can better explain:
Validation: verb (used with object), validated, validating.
- to make valid; substantiate; confirm:
- to give official sanction, confirmation, or approval to, as elected officials, election procedures, documents, etc.:
Self Confidence: noun
- realistic confidence in one’s own judgment, ability, power, etc.
Compliments feel good and everyone deserves to feel good. Seeking other’s approval all the time can leave you unsatisfied and become an “attention addiction” which is a vicious cycle. Simply, when you receive external validation, you feel good; when you don’t receive external validation you feel bad. Being at the mercy of other creates insecurity and sets you up for failure.
Next time you are looking for compliment from someone else, ask yourself these questions:
- What do I want this person to tell me?
- Is it something I can give myself?
Tips on how to love yourself more:
- Practice positive self-thoughts. Stop that stinking thinking!
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
- Stop comparing yourself to yourself from 20, 10, 5 years ago. Embrace who you are now and what has made you who you have become. Life is a journey.
- Find something every day that you accomplished well. Keep a journal of your accomplishments. Remember no one can be perfect.
- Find something every day that you like about yourself. Keep a journal.
- Spend more time with positive people. Get the support you need.